We often hear the term super mom being tossed around, and I am sure there may be many things that initially come to your mind. Let me name a few that used to come to my mind.
2. No life
Now, these things can cause a scare. I would be lying if I told you I thought super Mom was an endearing term. When people would refer to me as a Super Mom, I would cringe. From the outside, it looked like I was a Super Mom who had it all figured out and was at the top of my game. Inside I was crumbling and failing to keep up that image. The worst part about it was that I was not doing anything about it.
There were days when I woke up to get ready for my 11-hour shift and wouldn’t even comb my hair. My go-to style was a top bun. There were also times when my eyes would be so dark that you would think I had been in a fight and my opponent got the best of me. Still, I pushed on. I was a single mom with so much to prove to others, to my child, and more than anything to myself.
What was I really proving? That I can work myself in the ground and have no time for myself? Working 11-hour shifts daily on top of being a single mom and adding Part-time college to the mix as well lead me to secret burnout. I was smiling and happy when others referred to me as a super Mom but deep down inside, I was dealing with the 3 things I mentioned above, overwhelm, no life, and overworked.
Eventually, that life caught up with me. Not taking care of myself was beginning to be more apparent by the day. It was reflected in things like my weight, where I went from a size 5/6 to size 12 in a matter of a couple of years. It was showing in my hair when it was falling out in clumps when I finally took the time to comb it. It was showing in my moods when I would be snappy for no other reason beyond just being tired. Finally, it was showing in my health when I would be sick almost every few weeks. I was not taking the time to heal, rest, or build up my immune system.
Now those days are long behind me. I make it a point to be a Super Mom still but in a more refined way. The good news is you can too! Let’s start by implementing these 5 things to get you started.
1. Start prioritizing yourself. Long gone are the days when everything was about everyone else but you. It’s time to get into the habit of asking yourself how does this service ME? Make it a mission every single day to make YOU a priority.
2. Implement Self Care into your routine. Wait, don’t run. It can be done I promise. It doesn’t mean you have to break the bank going to some fancy spa and spend $500 dollars for a 30-minute massage. Self-Care can be something as simple as spending some alone time by the water, watching your favorite show instead of just cartoons with the kids, it can even be reading your favorite book for 30 minutes a day.
3. Get your rest. Sounds simple right? Unfortunately, some of us moms are operating on negative 66 when it comes to the sleep department. We are out here walking around like zombies and relying on coffee to keep us going. Been there done that and I can say that’s not the life we were meant to have. GO TO SLEEP!
4. Take it easy on yourself. Every day is not going to be a perfect day. Although we would like to think we can do it all and figure everything out, sadly we can’t. When you realize that, you open your horizons up to levels you never thought you would be able to reach. Do your mind a favor and come to terms with this quickly. You are doing amazing but aiming for perfection will drive you crazy. Growth is the goal and perfection is impossible.
5. Be Unapologetic about life outside of Motherhood. Here’s where it gets interesting. Hear me out. Motherhood is wonderful, in fact, it is AMAZING. Guess who else is AMAZING? YOU are! Yes, you are a person outside of motherhood. You are a woman and you had a life before motherhood, right? There is absolutely nothing wrong with still having one now that you are a mother. If I can let you in on a secret. When we are the best versions of ourselves, meaning happy, healthy, and taking care of ourselves, it only makes us even better mothers. You can still do things on your bucket list, treat yourself to some alone time, or kick it with friends from time to time to have your own identity. Most importantly, be unapologetic about it because you deserve it.
Let's start owning this Super Mom role, the right way.
-The Ambitious Mom Coach